The way I loved you
by PWriter23
Summary: dedicated to those who've been caught in a relationship that no longer fulfills you


**THE WAY I LOVED YOU**

dedicated to all those who've been caught in a relationship that no longer fulfills you

Her eyes were fixed on the screen in front of her, where a beautiful lady on a yellow dress danced around the ballroom with someone who wasn't her so beloved prince. The prince was a couple steps away, watching the whole scene develop with his arms crossed. Rose, watching the movie at her apartment, was pretending to be devotedly concentrated on what happened with the two characters. In reality, though, her mind was racing as fast as it used to be when she studied for her NEWTs back in Hogwarts.

At her side, Scorpius Malfoy watched with amazement the muggle movie, his arm wrapped around Rose's body comfortably, as if its position was mere routine. And it had to be. After all, they had been together for almost five years straight.

For being a 'so accustomed' move, Rose was rather uncomfortable on comparison. Scorpius didn't seemed to notice, but her left leg –the one closer to him– was shaking non-stop ever since the movie started, her arms were crossed over her stomach and her hands were balled into fists. She wore a straight face that anyone could mistake with a concentration expression, but that those who knew Rose pretty well would always classify as a frustration grimace.

Anyone who knew the redhead well could understand the whole image and even confront her about it, but Rose would deny everything, because she still hadn't accepted it herself.

Of course, she had this void-like feeling set on the ending of her stomach, along with a harsh attitude that had been eating her alive every day since Christmas Eve. And thing is, Rose wasn't stupid- she actually was one of her year's most intelligent witch. She knew what all those feelings and newly acquired anxiety building body traits meant– and she didn't like it.

She loved Scorpius.

She had loved him since the moment he had entered her train compartment at the Hogwarts Express, back when she was eleven years old and super excited to start her magical education. She had seen him grow from a scrawny blonde haired boy who was scared to voice out loud his opinions and being cast aside, to a well-built man with natural leadership skills and who now happened to be St. Mugo's best resident. She had been there for good and bad, and had been one of his best friends through all those seven years of school. She had fought, laughed and hurt with him.

She loved Scorpius.

Or, at least, that was what she had been repeating to herself lately.

She had to, anyways. Because, why wouldn't she? He was every girl's and boy's –she had once caught Michael Lee staring at his butt– dream. He was loyal, good, intelligent, understanding, good looking, gentle… the list could go on almost forever.

He was what her very traditional great grandma –Louise Granger– would call "Husband material".

For Merlin's sake, he even was an activist on women's rights!

What was worst was the fact that she was the one who fell in love first. They had been friends for seven years and she had been in love with him for almost three of those, but she never confessed because she was scared it would ruin the relationship. All the frustration built on her stomach, and the anger that she felt thanks to not admitting her feelings led her to a non ending spiral of bad moods and fights for the whole extension of her seventh year, only to conclude on a fairy tale kiss at the graduation ceremony. She didn't know how Draco or her dad didn't have a heart attack that day.

Because, surprisingly for her, Scorpius had kissed her back.

He had kissed her back and the next day he was at her door, asking for a date that she obviously accepted after going through a very short shock.

Since then, they had always been a strong couple. One of those couples people see walking together and get jealous, the kind that everyone ships and holds on to, the couple that serves as an example and the ones their friends' ask for advice. They were the perfect couple that was destined to marry, live on the suburbs and have at least three kids.

And there was a time in which Rose had believed that and was even proud that her relationship was seen as an example. It filled her in a way that not even her love for Scorpius could fill. And maybe that was the problem.

She was never satisfied.

And not only on the love field, but on all the aspects of her life too.

But if that was the case then it meant that she would never be happy anyways, so she was destined to follow the plans everyone else had determined for her. Because you were better off being with someone that being by yourself, no? That was what everyone else said.

And that was where she had to stop herself.

Because Rose Weasley was not one to conform with anyone else's view but herself's.

And she wasn't a psychologist, but she had seen and heard enough in her life to know that you couldn't be with someone just because of commitment and comfort. You shouldn't choose a life full of uncomfortable, unhappy movie nights with someone when you could choose a funny night with yourself and a movie. Not even if the person you erased from the picture was your so called best friend and partner in crime.

Yes, Rose loved Scorpius.

But she didn't love him like when she was on seventh year.

She loved him because of what he meant, but not because of what he made her feel.

Because lately, he didn't make her feel anything at all.

And yes, it was a thought that made her unhappy. Merlin, not even on her wildest dreams had she believed on hurting Scorpius, because that was one of the things that she had vowed not to do, and an idea that she dreaded. But at the same time, she could recognize that just because you don't want to hurt someone you have to keep hurting yourself, and that was all that Rose had been doing for the last two months; hurting.

It was probably one of the hardest decisions she had ever made, but she had made up her mind now and had come to the realization that even without all the arguments she had now, the sole idea that she had even thought about breaking up with him was enough evidence that she wasn't happy anymore.

She swallowed hard and blinked a couple times before turning her gaze into Scorpius'. With resignation, she spoke.

–I think we need to talk.

 **Author's note:**

 **Hey! Happy Valentine's day! I know this is not the kind of one shot you would expect to read today, but I had the idea on my mind and today I finally decided to write. And even if it doesn't talk about romantic love, it does talk about choosing yourself and your feelings first.**

 **I was Rose once, and I honestly feel like choosing me was one of the best decisions I've made and it has made me stronger. Of course, I hated the idea of hurting someone else, but I think I hated more the idea of hurting myself every day. So yeah, writing this was kind of a reflection for me.**

 **I'm sorry if I have any mistakes or something when it comes to grammar, sentence building and all that. English isn't my first language. Please if I got something wrong, don't be afraid to point it out! I want to get better and maybe you could help me with that.**

 **Btw, this was kind of inspired (too) by Taylor Swift's "That's the way I loved you"**

 **See you next time.**

 **Patricia.**


End file.
